In my opinion, this video was tastefully and beautifully made. Not to mention I love her style, her voice, and this song. Paloma Faith is my spirit animal!
And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.Romans 8:28
When angry, do not sin; do not ever let your wrath (your exasperation, your fury or indignation) last until the sun goes down.Ephesians 4:26
Test everything that is said. Hold on to what is good.1 Thessalonians 5:21
I don’t want to complain too much, but tomorrow marks the first day since graduating from college that I can finally take a breather. Shoot, even just the past month has been hectic! After surviving the purgatory that is post-grad job hunting and finally landing on the start line of my career, I have been keeping myself busy with odd jobs, dr & other appointments, all sorts of errands and commitments on weekends. And tomorrow, I can finally rest. So here’s to me!
Last night I had one of the worst…”flare ups” I’ve had in a long time. Maybe in like 2 years. Even though I’ve never actually experienced it, I feel like I can say that I know what it’s like to have a blunt steak knife being drilled into my left ovary.
It kept me up for a full hour. It was awful, and there was literally nothing I could do about it. I knew it wasn’t a burst cyst because according to my gynecologist, I’m supposedly cyst free now. I’m guessing (because I’m totally a doctor) that I’m developing new cysts. There’s only so much treatment can do for women with PCOS, and that’s it.
When I finally came to terms with PCOS, I promised God that I would accept this as the “thorn in my flesh” and live life to the fullest. And I’m still set on that promise. It’s just times like these when I just wish it would all go away. I just want to wish away the stress, the anxiety and bouts of depression, the struggle to keep weight off, and just the pain. If I could get rid of the ovarian pain I would be the most grateful person on earth!
But I’m in this for life, and I want to make the best of it. That being said, having that flare up just reaffirmed my stance on not having kids of my own. People that I’ve shared this with tell me that I’ll change my mind or whatnot, but I can barely handle my ovaries the way they are. I think I would have all sorts of emotional and psychological issues on top of other health issues if I were to ever become pregnant. I have learned that I do not look forward to feeling a baby growing inside of me. It’s not a bad thing of course, I just don’t want to experience that for myself.
My understanding of family goes beyond bloodlines, and if God sees it fit that I become a wife and mother someday, He will provide in His own unique way. I have it set in my heart to adopt one day and love and cherish the children God will leave me in charge to raise and care for. But that’s a long way from now.
For now, I will continue to take my treatment, which includes birth control and the fabulous Metformin. So yes, I only have this one body with its very special flaws which I have to honor as God’s temple. And by making my choices of treating my PCOS with medication and forgoing any viable method of naturally/artificially conceiving and becoming pregnant one day, I continue to honor the challenge God has placed in my life.
They opened for Paramore/Fall Out Boy, and even though they were okay, I really like this song! So funny, and relatable, you could say ;)