In the same way, the Holy Spirit helps us where we are weak. We do not know how to pray or what we should pray for, but the Holy Spirit prays to God for us with sounds that cannot be put into words.Romans 8:26b
Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is. Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.Ephesians 5:15-20
If there is anything good (yeah, that’s right, GOOD) that I can take away from having gone through nearly 2 years of being depressed, let me count the ways…
My mother is the one who always tells me to find the good in everything I hear, see, learn, and experience. So here are the things that I have learned:
1. I have learned just how scary and nerve-wracking it is to fully trust God with all aspects of your life.
2. I’ve also learned that trusting God is possible and worth it!
3. I am not a good sales person, and that’s okay!
4. I figure that because I never once changed my major in college, I am now still trying to figure out what I want to do with my bachelors degree!
5. I am still very much passionate about helping others, and I ultimately hope to work either for the UN, EU or US Embassy.
6. I’m giving myself 4 more years to save up money so that I can pay for my own masters in International Relations at the University of Coimbra in Portugal.
7. I LOVE my skin color!
8. I’ve learned who my true friends are, and I hope they know just how much they mean to me and that I will also go the distance for them!
9. As a woman with PCOS, Metformin and birth control have become my best friends!
10. I can still have fun when I’m sober.
11. I’m a pretty good, self-taught cook, and I want to continue learning.
12. I’ve learned not to feel sorry for myself anymore. I’m stronger and better than that.
13. I’ve got an unbeatable willpower, for the better of course!
14. I’m the first person in my home church community since its founding 17 years ago to earn a bachelors degree. And I’m pretty proud of that.
15. I’m unintentionally funny, I make the biggest effort to NOT be awkward, and I like to please people.
16. I used to suck at baking and I’ve improved, especially when it comes to my pies! NO ONE can beat my pie (within a Salvadoran context, maybe?).
17. I have always loved to dance. I may have wimped out of ballet classes as a kid, but the budding interest never died. Dancing is fun!
18. I really want to continue learning Portuguese. Practicing on my landlady’s dog ain’t cuttin’ it!
19. The one thing I miss about living in Vallejo (it happens, people) is the close proximity to water and the constant windy weather.
20. My Salvadoran accent is slowly reconstructing itself with practice.
21. I will only eat raw tomatoes when they’re chopped (not sliced) and seasoned well. I still have texture issues!
22. My hair is finally at a texture, length and style that I like.
23. At the age of 23, I have decided that I do not wish to ever conceive and carry my own biological children (I’m considering doing a whole post on this alone). For me, PCOS always comes first, and there are many repercussions for women with PCOS who do conceive and carry. I am deciding to forgo any possibility and being happy with that choice.
24. That being said, I do want to be a mother. I want to adopt at least two kids one day. I even have their names picked out!
26. I had a very judgmental psychologist, who turned out to be a glorified social worker. I still need therapy though.
27. Heads Up is a really fun game.
28. I love my MC nights and my MC girls!
29. Though I have found an awesome church community here in San Jose, my heart still cares for my old church community, and I am still hopeful that I can make a difference there in terms of support and progress.
30. I’ve inherited being superstitious from my mother and paranoia from my father.
31. I have the best parents I could ask for and love them to death.
32. I recognize and respect many of my heritage’s cultural and societal traditions, I just don’t necessarily agree with them. Such as men being served their meals first, and women having to wait for them to start eating in order to start eating their food themselves. It’s annoying!
33. Everyone’s got a little bit of everything, good and bad, and that’s what makes us human.
34. I am stubborn and weak at the same time.
35. My grandmother, my abuelita, who just passed was a strong woman and wonderful human being. I hope I’m making her proud.
36. My family values self-sacrifice. My aunt did that when she was dying of cancer and decided to hold on way past the time doctors gave her to live, in order for me to have my quinceañera party. She died 12 days later. I can never repay her for that.
37. I seriously just want to drive up to a “quiet” neighborhood and blast the most annoying hip hop song I can think of, and drive by like I own the place.
38. I’ve got a pretty cool sister who annoys me sometimes. But she aight I guess…
39. I miss my old dog Laidi, and I’m still resentful of my parents’ current dog, Sophie. I call her Demon from Hell.
40. Nothing and no one in life is worth holding a grudge over.
41. Water truly does wonders for the body.
42. I still need to improve my time management. I used to be 10 minutes late to everything, now it’s gone to 5 minutes. Let’s hope I show up on time or even early now!
43. As far as guys go, I’m still a sucker for big ears, obnoxious laughs, integrity, a good sense of humor, self-determination with a smidge of ambition, humility, patience, and above all else: a heart that belongs to God. And that’s all you guys are going to get!
44. I am learning to enjoy being single. One of the advantages I have is that I NEVER have to complain about exes!
45. I want to volunteer and give back to the community a lot more.
46. If I truly put my mind to it, I can do whatever I want!
47. My patience has been tried, stretched, and refined.
48. Life is truly too short to wait for things to happen. Make them happen! Live a little, and just go for it!
49. God promises eternal joy, and we have to find happiness in life and in what we do.
50. I am exactly where I am supposed to be, and my gypsy heart will continue leading me wherever I’m supposed to be next!
Love is weird…Johanna Mason from Catching Fire
Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.2 Corinthians 12:9
You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.Romans 5:6-8
Sorry for everything.